Teaser to a story I am writing - looking for an outside perspective.

Martin

Let me know what you guys think about this short intro/teaser. This teaser is pretty much ment to outline the major themes I plan to include in the story. But I thought I would just shoot this out there and get some opinions from an outside perspective.


Teaser:
You ever believe in a world, alternate to your own. You know, the kind that is filled with strange creatures, magic, kingdoms, and hidden monuments. I know some people might call it childsplay, but I just get this feeling that I belong somewhere else, and that I have a purposeful life waiting for me elsewhere. But instead, I was placed here, in this world filled with civil complexities and isolation. Surrounded by people who tend to fit into this world so perfectly, while you just sit there as abnormal as one from this world could be. Yet the further you advance in this world, the farther you feel from it, and the closer you feel to another, one that you yourself stuggle to proove its existence; however, only hope and dream that you will reach there someday, somehow. End.


I understand that this teaser is pretty vauge and does not explain much about the story. But without revealing the story itself, does this at all draw your attention?

Nighty

Very intriguing.
You should make it more concrete once you add those details!

Kei

Your story seems like it'd be interesting. Good job on the teaser. Reading the fantasy/supernatural genre is right up my alley, so I'd most likely read more of your content to see if it'd suite my taste.

Martin

Crystal2780!! replied at 2018-8-6 23:15
It sounds very intriguing, yet it also seems to take after the themes of ''Kingdom Hearts'' very clo ...

Thank you so much! Really means a lot. I actually never played Kingdom Hearts, so I guess I didn't see the similar themes.

Martin

Kei replied at 2018-8-7 01:34
Your story seems like it'd be interesting. Good job on the teaser. Reading the fantasy/supernatural  ...

Wonderful! Thanks for the feedback

Martin

The_Syreth_Clan replied at 2018-8-7 00:36
I've read too many manga and fanfiction to know where this is going and I'd personally advise agains ...

I assume you're implying that this is a common theme among other fantasy writings. What would you suggest to make this a little more unique?

Starreyes

OOOOH this seems interesting! Write that story!!!